The new multi-jo’bulani '5 ball' (Credit: Alasdair Middleton)
A new controversy emerged around the governing football body Fifa today as news broke that they intend to use a new ‘even more special’ match ball called the ‘multi-jo’bulani’ in the world cup final match between Spain and Holland.
Speaking at the announcement Senior Fifa Mafioso Sepp Blatter said: “The multi jo’bulani is an incredible football invention. Not only is it the roundest football ever, if a player hits it at more than 80mph the ball splits into five ‘clones’ of the roundest football ever. This will lead to many more goals and more exciting games ahead. What is football about? Goals and lucrative sponsorship deals, nothing more. We need to compete against basketball, hockey and golf for fucks sake. We need to keep innovating!” Mr. Blatter continued, “This should finally rule out any calls for video replays. You will have 3D images of five footballs flying at a goalkeeper. What more do you fucking want?”
There has been little response to the proposed move with senior players in both the Dutch and Spanish camps declaring that they are too excited about the final and will wait to see who wins before complaining. When asked for comment a depressed Diego Maradona could only muster, “Sepp Blatter, Michel Platini and the rest of them should be tried for crimes against humanity. This is truely the end of football as we know it.”
Tags: FIFA, Football, Sepp Blatter, World Cup
Article published on Saturday, July 10th, 2010 at 9:00 am.Filed under Article, International.
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