International

Vatican Put Recent Ludicrous Statements Down to Faulty Sin Generator

Micks mate...mates with Mick, Monday, July 26th, 2010

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The Vatican in Rome have come out and said its’ reason for comparing female priesthood to pedophilia last week was because their sin-generator malfunctioned.

Blatter: Human Error is a Crucial Part of Love-Making

Davey Blue, Friday, July 23rd, 2010

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Benzema: “I didn’t know she was under-age, but I wasn’t with her anyway, so even If I was it wouldn’t have been my fault, but I wasn’t, so it doesn’t matter anyway”

Live Spy Wife Swap Total Flop

Pink OToole, Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

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The pilot episode of new Channel Four series ‘Spy Wife Swap’ has been ditched by commissioning editors following a lack of proficient research.

Nothing to Worry About as Every Front Page Carries Different Story

Davey Blue, Monday, July 19th, 2010

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The general public can breath another sigh of relief today as yet again, every newspaper runs with a different lead story.

The Verb ‘Raoul Moat’ Enters the Collins English Dictionary

Rudolfo Peras, Friday, July 16th, 2010

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The verb ‘Raoul Moat’ today became the fastest ever term in the history of the English language to be transferred from slang to dictionary.

Celebrity Confuses Chat Show Audience by Publicising Four Books, Two Films and a Fragrance on Same Broadcast

Spellcheck Brophy, Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

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Audience members were left baffled when Vinnie Jones simultaneously promoted 4 books, 2 films & a fragrance in a 5 minutes flat.

Liberals Demand a Reclassification of the Nanny State

Sennan Greene, Monday, July 12th, 2010

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Liberal groups today called on the government to declare exactly what type of nanny the Irish nanny state has become.

Fifa Agree to Use New ‘Multi Jo’bulani’ Football in World Cup Final Under Pressure from Sepp Blatter

Susan Nebuchadnezzer, Saturday, July 10th, 2010

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A new controversy emerged around the governing football body Fifa today as news broke that they intend to use a new ‘even more special’ match ball called the ‘multi-jo’bulani’ in the world cup final match between Spain and Holland.

Calls For Redefinition of ‘Punishment’ as Community Worker gets Community Service

Davey Blue, Friday, July 9th, 2010

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A community worker in Leeds was left feeling relieved last night after being found guilty of crimes relating to traffic offences and sentenced to 12 months of his everyday life.

Mosquito Infected by Cheryl Cole Given Days to Live

Davey Blue, Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

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A mosquito in Tanzania remains critically ill today after being infect by Cheryl Cole last month.

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